Why Empaths Are Attracted to Narcissists — And Why Narcissists Seek Empaths

Few relationship dynamics are as intense—or as damaging—as the empath–narcissist bond. It can begin with magnetic chemistry, emotional intensity, and a sense of destiny. But beneath that intensity often lies a meeting of unhealed wounds.

At Tír na nÓg Therapy – Conscious Centered Living, we frequently explore this dynamic through the lens of trauma, attachment, and shadow work.

Why Empaths Are Drawn to Narcissists

Empaths are deeply sensitive, perceptive, and emotionally attuned. They feel others’ pain and often carry a strong desire to heal, protect, or rescue.

However, many empaths also struggle with self-doubt, insecurity, or a fragile sense of identity—especially if their early needs were not fully met.

When an empath meets a narcissist, the narcissist’s entitlement can appear as confidence. Arrogance can feel like certainty. Dominance can feel like protection.

In vulnerable moments, empaths may unconsciously look for a “hero.” The narcissist’s boldness and assurance can feel stabilising—almost intoxicating.

But what appears as strength is often a carefully constructed mask.

Why Narcissists Are Attracted to Empaths

Narcissists are opportunistic. They instinctively gravitate toward individuals who are compassionate, forgiving, and willing to overextend themselves.

The empath’s insecurity can be alluring because it makes exploitation easier.

Where the empath doubts, the narcissist dominates.Where the empath gives, the narcissist takes.

The charm narcissists present is often superficial—a performance designed to gain admiration and control. Behind that charm frequently lies deep insecurity and a need for validation.

In many cases, both parties feel internally weak and believe the other possesses something they lack.

The empath seeks safety and certainty. The narcissist seeks admiration and emotional supply.

The relationship forms around perceived deficiency—not wholeness.

The Damage of the Dynamic

Over time, these relationships can cause profound emotional harm:

• Trauma bonding

• Erosion of self-worth

• Chronic confusion and self-doubt

• Anxiety and depression

• Loss of identity

  
  

Empaths often begin to feel responsible for the narcissist’s healing, to the point where they forgo their own needs. But love does not require self-erasure.

The Real Question: Why Are You Attracted?

Healing begins when the focus shifts inward.

• Why does entitlement feel like strength?

• Why does intensity feel like intimacy?

• Why do I feel responsible for fixing others?

• Why do I override my intuition?

At Tír na nÓg Therapy, we explore these patterns gently and without judgment. Through holistic Me-ta-psychotherapy, trauma-informed care, and shadow integration, clients begin to reclaim their boundaries, autonomy, and sense of self.

When an empath strengthens their self-worth and integrates their shadow, the attraction to narcissistic personalities naturally weakens. Because when you no longer feel incomplete, you stop seeking completion in someone who feeds on it.

Healing begins with understanding.

If you recognise yourself in this dynamic, you are not defective—and you are not alone.

Understanding these patterns is the first step toward freedom.

Tír na nÓg Therapy – Conscious Centered Living offers online therapy both in the UK and internationally. Sessions are client-led, trauma-informed, and rooted in unconditional positive regard.

Your first session is free.

If you feel ready to break the cycle and build relationships from wholeness rather than woundedness, you can find contact details on the website:

👉 www.tirnanogtherapy.co.uk